


ninety eight, ninety nine, one hundred

by futurefishes



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Boys being soft and in love, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Prompt Fill, light manga spoilers at times, like at one place so far but still
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-01-20 19:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21287321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futurefishes/pseuds/futurefishes
Summary: there's more than one way to say "I love you".
Relationships: Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka
Comments: 44
Kudos: 310





	1. one through ten

**Author's Note:**

> hiya!  
my second given fic! i'm excited! i miss the boys so much, and i just.... need more content.  
there's. not. enough. mafuyama.
> 
> so i present you this fic!! which i hope you'll all enjoy!!!!!!!  
i needed an outlet to write soft boys being soft ehehehe

_1\. Can I hold your hand?_

It’s a Wednesday and they’re walking home from school. The warmth of summer has taken over Tokyo, and the afternoon sun is high in the blue sky. 

Two weeks. That’s how long they’ve been dating. Two weeks since Mafuyu confessed to Uenoyama at Minato Mirai. Two weeks since Mafuyu found out his feelings were reciprocated.

_(He had known from the moment Uenoyama had pressed his lips against his own, backstage at the music house. That didn’t mean that he was any less scared of rejection though). _

Uenoyama is walking in front of him, slightly too fast for their usual pace. He has been on edge all day, Mafuyu has noticed. He notices most things about his boyfriend after all. 

A few moments later, Uenoyama comes to a stop. Mafuyu stops too, waiting for the black-haired boy to say what’s on his mind. He can already see that his cheeks are flushed. 

“Mafuyu,” he begins, and the ginger can’t help but feel like his name sounds beautiful when it falls from his boyfriend’s lips. “Can I… Can I hold your hand?”

A beat passes. Mafuyu blinks. And then laughs.

Uenoyama splutters, the blush in his cheeks only getting more vibrant. He tries to explain, tries to excuse himself, tries to say that it’s _fine, they don’t need to do it if Mafuyu doesn’t want to, he’s sorry for asking- _

His mouth falls closed as Mafuyu’s hand closes around his and their fingers intertwine. He stares down at their hands, as if amazed at the sight.

“If you wanted to hold my hand, you could’ve just reached for it, Uenoyama-kun,” Mafuyu giggles. He moves closer to Uenoyama so that their chests are almost touching. He smiles up to him, loving the way he can hear his boyfriend lose his breath. 

Uenoyama doesn’t answer. Instead, he moves to continue their walk, successfully making Mafuyu fall in step with him. He squeezes Mafuyu’s hand. 

Mafuyu squeezes back.

_2\. I believe in you_

“I can’t do it,” Mafuyu whines and lets go of the pen, letting it fall the small distance down from his hand onto the floor. “I can’t think of any words.”

The darkness has fallen outside the window of their practice room, and their bandmates have already left for the comfort of their own home. Mafuyu and Uenoyama are alone, spread out on the floor with notebooks, pens, and papers on the floor all around them. 

They’re trying to make a new song. Uenoyama had insisted on being apart of the making of it, despite Mafuyu informing him that he has yet to make any progress. 

The lyrics just weren't coming to him. The melody was incomplete and not flowing well. He wanted to do well, wanted to make a song that they, as a band, would be proud of. But nothing was working for him. 

He could feel the frustration in him start to grow. 

“It’s fine, Mafuyu,” Uenoyama replies, and Mafuyu looks up from the mess on the floor to meet the warm, blue eyes. “You’re a genius at this. You’re good at this. You will find the words. I’ll help you as much as I can.”

Tears of relief threaten to fall down Mafuyu’s cheeks, but he stubbornly blinks them away. “Uenoyama-kun...”

“I believe in you, Mafuyu,” Uenoyama’s soft voice tells him, and he moves closer to press a kiss to Mafuyu’s lips. “I believe in you.”

They don’t get further on the song that night, but as they lose themselves in each other, Mafuyu finds renewed energy in his boyfriend’s words. 

_3\. It reminded me of you_

In Uenoyama’s hands are two key-rings. One of a small, fluffy, white dog_ (closely resembling a certain dog with a cat's name)_ and one of a guitar. 

“For you,” Uenoayama mumbles. It's lunch, and they're sitting at their usual place, by the stairs at the gym. His blue eyes won’t quite meet Mafuyu’s almond ones, and his cheeks are tinted red. It takes a few moments for Mafuyu to find his voice.

“You bought them for me?” He asks, awe evident in Mafuyu’s voice. He takes them from Uenoyama’s hand, his skin tingling where they touch, even after all this time. He brings his hand up to his face, so he can study the key-rings up close. 

“Well,” Uenoyama begins, his blue eyes staring down at the gym. “I was out with Itaya and Ueki after school yesterday, and we walked past this shop. I saw these and… they reminded me of you. So, I had to get them.” Finally, _ finally_, he turns around to face Mafuyu properly as he asks. “Do you like them?”

“I love them,” Mafuyu exclaims, and he moves toward to press a kiss to Uenoyama’s cheek. “Thank you.”

“You-you're welcome,” Uenoyama stutters, watching with a soft smile as Mafuyu continues to admire his gift. 

When they leave school a few hours later, Mafuyu's school bag is decorated with the two key-rings.

Uenoyama's lips form into a pleased smile when he catches them shine in the light of the sun. Mafuyu smiles back and reaches for his hand.

_4\. It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway._

One certain winter left him with a lot of things.

Greif. Heartbreak. Pain.

And nightmares. 

This night, like so many other nights these past few months, Mafuyu awakens with his heart stuck in his throat and a scream stuck somewhere in his lungs. He’s drenched in sweat and the fear and guilt inside of him are so big it feels like it’s going to swallow him whole.

Throwing a glance at the clock it tells him that it’s in the dead of the night. The apartment is quiet; quiet enough that he can hear Kedama’s low snores from outside of the door and his mom’s slow breathing from her bedroom. Usually, the silence makes him calm down from the horrifying pictures his mind was dead-set on showing him, but it doesn’t seem to be working tonight. His heart won't slow down. 

Before he can think about it or stop himself, he has his phone in hand, and within moments he can hear the familiar sound of beeps as he waits for the person on the other side of the line to pick up the call.

“Mm, Mafuyu?” Uenoyama’s voice is hoarse and full of sleep, and it just hits him at what hour of the day he’s actually calling him. “What’s wrong?”

“Uenoyama-kun… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have woken you up. I’ll call you later, in the morning-” Mafuyu begins, and just as he's about to end the call he can hear Uenoyama’s soft voice.

“Mafuyu, it’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.” It’s a lie, with the way sleep is evident in his voice, but warmth spreads in Mafuyu’s chest at the thought that Uenoyama would stay awake for him. “Tell me what’s on your mind. I’ll listen.”

They stay on the phone until the sun rises outside Mafuyu’s window, his heart calm and at ease.

_5\. I’ll walk you home._

“Good work today, everyone!” Haruki exclaims, looking around the practice room with a big grin on his face. “We’re really getting this new song down!”

Happy exclaims take over the room, and Uenoyama and Akihiko bump fists. Mafuyu’s lips pull into a smile, and his fingers play with the strings of his guitar absentmindedly. 

“It did sound good,” Akihiko agrees, swirling around the drumsticks as he speaks. “We’ll still need to play it a few times to make sure we’ll do our best at the performance, but I think we’ve done enough for today.”

“Yeah,” Haruki nods, moving to disconnect his bass from the amp. “Let’s call it a day, and head home. It’s getting pretty late as well.”

Everyone nods, and moves to pack up their stuff and clean up the practice room. In about half an hour, Mafuyu and Uenoyama are waving goodbye to Haruki and Akihiko, as the two drive towards their apartment on the latter’s motorcycle.

Left outside the building are the two high-schoolers. It’s still warm outside, despite the season gradually changing over to fall. Mafuyu looks up to the stars for a moment, watching as they blink down to him.

He sighs softly, and is just about to say his goodbyes when-

"Mafuyu, let me walk you home."

The ginger looks at Uenoyama in surprise; they don't live very close - it's a train ride between them and it would take Uenoyama much longer than just going straight home. 

But it'd be a lie if he said he didn't want him to. The thought of getting to spend a bit more time with him makes warmth bloom in his chest like flowers in spring.

He smiles. "Okay."

_6\. You can have half_

They're, for once, spending the lunch hour in Uenoyama's classroom, and not at the staircase as usual. 

Ever since he started hanging out with Uenoyama, Mafuyu has gotten closer to Ueki and Itaya. They're nice people, and he loves to see how comfortable his boyfriend is around them.

His and Uenoyama's relationship isn't known to the students, which is something they had to agree on to get Haruki's approval of them dating. Although Mafuyu sometimes just want to stop dead in his tracks, push Uenoyama up against a wall and kiss him senseless, he also thinks it's for the best.

But just because their relationship status isn't known, doesn't mean they're subtle.

"That looks good, Uenoyama-kun," Mafuyu says as he watches the black-haired unwrap the sandwich he had purchased at the school cafeteria earlier.

"It is good," Uenoyama agrees, as he takes a bite of the sandwich. He looks over at the bento sitting in front of Mafuyu. "Your food looks good too."

Mafuyu shrugs. It's just left-overs from the dinner yesterday, and he can't help but think it's a bit dull. "I guess."

Soon enough, Ueki is telling a story of what happened the day before, and Mafuyu is listening to it so intently that he at first doesn't notice when Uenoyama puts half of his sandwich in front of him.

When he notices, he turns around with a questioning glance. Uenoyama's lips turn into a small smile. "You can have half."

The two boys are so caught up in each other's gaze that they don't notice that Ueki has gone silent. He and Itaya are looking at them with a knowing look in their eyes. 

Itaya's lips form a smirk, and he shakes his head and sighs. "Young love."

_7\. Take a deep breath_

"I'm nervous," Mafuyu breathes out quietly. They can hear the crowd go wild at the band performing before them. They're good, insanely good, and he's scared that they won't be able to deliver something as incredible.

"I know, but it'll be fine," Uenoyama tries to comfort, his hand drawing slow circles on his back. The heat of it travels up Mafuyu's spine, and usually, it would be comforting.

But today _it's not enough_.

His heart is beating hard enough that it feels like it would jump out of his chest.

The cheers from the crowd get louder as the band starts to play their last - and most well-known - song, and it feels like the walls around them are vibrating around them.

"But what if it won't? What if I'll forget the lyrics or the chords or what if-" Mafuyu knows he's rambling, but the words won't stop falling out of his mouth. It's like a waterfall of nervous energy and he can feel himself start to shake.

"Shh, take a deep breath," Uenoyama puts his arms around him and pulls Mafuyu close. His voice is low in his ears, and Mafuyu can feel his heart speed up even more, but not because of nervousness this time. He opens his mouth to draw air into his lungs, feeling them expand in his chest. “Just like that. It’s gonna be fine.”

Mafuyu doesn’t know how long they’re standing there - in each other’s arms, feeling his heart calm down as his lungs get more oxygen and Uenoyama's familiar warmth all around him calming his heart down - but suddenly Akihiko is calling out to them. It’s their turn to take the stage. 

When they pull away from the embrace, Uenoyama sends him a genuine, confident smile. It’s contagious, and Mafuyu finds himself smile back as they walk on the stage.

Towards the blinding lights.

_8\. I like your laugh_

Mafuyu knows he’s not very good at expressing how he feels. He knows that he has a harder time finding words than others and that he has a hard time showing how much he cares.

For so long, all of his emotions had been locked up inside of him; concealed, with no way of getting out. He was sure that it would ruin him, that they would make him explode.

But it’s been getting easier, recently. He finds himself happy and confident, and he finds it in himself to _try _to put his thoughts into words. They bubble out of him, sometimes unexpectedly. 

He’s gotten better at it. 

He’s gotten better at a lot of things recently.

Uenoyama always blushes when Mafuyu laughs; maybe it’s because he hasn’t heard it as much or maybe it’s because of some other reason Mafuyu doesn’t know. His boyfriend always tells him how it reminds him of happiness and sunny days and music that flows well.

And every single time Mafuyu laughs, without fail, Uenoyama always speaks his mind. “I like your laugh. I want to hear it all the time.”

Maybe it’s only his imagination, but Mafuyu swears that for every time Uenoyama says it, his laughs gets a little brighter.

_9\. You’re warm_

“It’s so cold,” Uenoyama whines as he sinks against the wall of the practice room, a low thud resonating as his butt hits the ground.

“We’re nearing winter,” Mafuyu says, looking at his boyfriend with amusement. He’s cute. “It’s only natural that the temperatures drop.”

“Yeah, I know, but still,” Uenoyama closes his eyes and sighs. A few beats pass before he opens them again, and his blue eyes seem to shine brighter than just mere moments ago. “Mafuyu?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you come closer for a second?”

Mafuyu can feel his brows furrow slightly, but does as his boyfriend asks. As soon as Uenoyama can reach him, he puts his arms around him and pulls him against his chest. 

The arms around his body tighten as Uenoyama leans his head against Mafuyu’s shoulder. He nuzzles against his nape, his hot breath sending shivers down Mafuyu’s spine. Uenoyama sighs contently. 

“You’re warm, Mafuyu,” Said boy can feel his cheeks heat up, and his arms wrap around his boyfriend in return. “So warm.”

The rain continued to fall outside the window. The embrace tightens. 

_10\. Sweet dreams_

“Haruki was really funny too; you should’ve seen his face! It was priceless! And Akihiko’s laugh was so over the top too!” Uenoyama’s voice is resonating from the speaker on Mafuyu’s phone, his voice happy and excited as he talks about good memories. Even though Mafuyu wasn’t in the band - or even knew any of them back when the story took place - he can still see it play out in his mind. And it’s _hilarious_. 

Mafuyu laughs. “I can see it. It sounds fun.”

“It was,” Uenoyama laughs, but it soon gets interrupted by a yawn, that he tries to stifle. Mafuyu’s almond eyes move to the corner of the screen - it’s after midnight. They’ve been talking for hours now.

“You should sleep,” Mafuyu says into the phone. “We’ve been talking for long.”

“But I want to continue to talk with you,” Uenoyama to god _whines_, and Mafuyu giggles at his boyfriend’s antics. 

“We can talk more tomorrow,” he reassures, feeling sad himself that they have to end their call. “If you want.”

“Of course I do,” Uenoyama exclaims, his voice serious and sure. It’s quiet for a few seconds, as he hesitates to say something, but he seems to decide to speak his mind. “Do you want to come over tomorrow? Talking on the phone is good and all, but I want to see you.”

“Uenoyama-kun is so eager,” Mafuyu teases, loving the way he can hear his boyfriend splutter and turn into a flustered mess on the other side of the line. “I’d like that. Visiting you.”

“Good,” Uenoyama sounds relieved as he speaks, and he sighs softly. “Sweet dreams, Mafuyu.”

“Sweet dreams,” Mafuyu replies before he presses the button to end the call. He stares at his phone for a few seconds, watching the screen darken before he moves to lie down under his blankets.

He can’t wait for tomorrow.


	2. eleven through twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2! finally! whew.  
this took me longer than i was expecting, but i blame uni. i've been really busy these past few weeks, with exams and a new course and a tons of lectures. hopefully next chapter will come quicker.
> 
> if you see any mistakes, please do tell me! i edited this kinda quickly so there might be some. anyway, i hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

_ 11\. Can I kiss you? _

“Uenoyama-kun, can I kiss you?”

Uenoyama chokes on his food, and he feels his ears turn red as Mafuyu claps him on the back to help him out. “Here?”

The staircase was barren of others, so they wouldn’t be seen. Still, doing something as intimate as kissing, in school, where people could _potentially_ see them was embarrassing.

And despite Haruki’s voice repeating “keep it hidden” in his head, over and over, he can’t help but find the idea appealing, despite his face burning. 

Kissing Mafuyu. During school hours. Not having to wait for them to get home. 

“Uenoyama-kun?” Mafuyu asks after a moment of silence. His voice is somewhere between amused and worried and Uenoyama can’t help but think _cute cute cute _as he leans in to press his lips against Mafuyu’s in answer. 

It’s short, more of a peck than anything, but Mafuyu beams as they part. Uenoyama tries to scold him, tries to tell him they shouldn’t be doing it in school after all.

He’s rewarded with Mafuyu’s cute giggles as he goes against his own words and leans in again. 

_12\. Here, drink this. You’ll feel better. _

Uenoyama usually brags about not getting sick often. He thinks of it as one of his best traits; his body is strong enough to fight even the worst and most contagious of colds is something one should be proud of. Ueki and Itaya just roll their eyes at him whenever he mentions it nowadays, already having heard it enough. 

But at the moment, Uenoyama could but his entire future career on the fact that his best friends are probably laughing their asses off. 

Because Uenoyama is, for the first time in literal _years_, bedridden with a high fever.

It’s frustrating, being stuck in his bed. It’s frustrating, writing the text to the rest of the band telling him that he won’t make it to practice today and it’s frustrating to write to Mafuyu personally that he won’t be showing up at school. 

He falls back asleep soon after the texts have been sent. He's restless in his sleep, his dreams weird and unsettling, but he doesn’t wake up until there’s a knock on his door.

“Ritsuka,” Yayoi’s voice resonates from the other side of the door. Uenoyama groans and moves further into his bedding, as if trying to hide in its softness. “Satou-kun is here.”

At the mention of his boyfriend’s name, he tries to protest - he doesn’t want Mafuyu to see him like this, all gross and full of contagious germs - but his voice doesn’t quite make it out of his throat in time. And before he knows it, Mafuyu is standing in front of him, a grocery bag in his hand.

“How are you feeling, Uenoyama-kun?” Mafuyu asks, his voice soft and warm and even if it’s just been a day since he last saw him Uenoyama can’t help but long for him to speak more, so he can hear that beautiful voice again.

“Awful,” he manages to get out, but his throat hurts when he speaks and he groans. Mafuyu reaches into the plastic bag and brings up a drink that Uenoyama doesn’t recognize.

“Here, drink this. You’ll feel better,” Mafuyu reaches the bottle out to him, and Uenoyama takes it, touched at the gesture. He tries to sit up in his bed, and Mafuyu helps him, putting his arm around his back. His hand doesn’t fall away as Uenoyama sits up properly though; it’s stays put, it’s warmth soaking through Uenoyama’s sweaty pj's. 

He unscrews the bottle and takes a sip, and it tastes bad. Really bad. Mafuyu explains how the staff had told him that this was the best drink when he’d asked, saying that he hopes it’ll work because school was lonely without him today.

Uenoyama can feel himself flush, trying the best to hide the redness in his cheeks as he swallows the rest of the drink down, trying to ignore the bitter taste. The sweet smile Mafuyu sends to him makes it all worth it though, and even more so when Mafuyu insists on cuddling up against him on the bed.

“You’re gonna get sick,” Uenoyama retreats, scared that his boyfriend will catch whatever it is that has his hold on him.

Mafuyu only hums in reply and hugs closer.

_13\. Take my jacket, it’s cold outside._

“Goddammit,” Uenoyama exclaims as he takes a step outside the building. “It’s cold.”

He had been running late to practice earlier, and because his mind wasn't focused on anything else then getting there as soon as the trains and his feet would allow, he had forgotten his jacket.

In the low, afternoon sun, it had been bearable. It wasn't warm exactly, but not cold enough for him to think further about the missing piece of clothing.

Now though, that practice is over and the sun has fallen, giving way to the darkness of Japanese evenings, he can't say the same. Uenoyama feels another shiver pass through him, as he prepares to walk home.

“Uenoyama-kun?” Mafuyu’s voice comes from behind him. His face soon peaks up from next to him, and his brows furrow as he takes in his appearance. "Where is your jacket?"

"Forgot it at home," he replies through his teeth, trying not to let the shivers get to him. "But it's fine, I'll hurry home."

Mafuyu hums, and for a while, they stand in awkward silence. Then, from the corner of his eye, he sees Mafuyu putting down his guitar case and stripping himself of his jacket.

As soon as it's off, he hands it over to Uenoyama, who just stares at it. Then he balks. "I can't take your jacket, what are you going to wear then?!"

"My sweater is thicker than yours, I'll be fine," Mafuyu moves the jackets closer to Uenoyama, presses it to his chest. "It's cold outside, Uenoyama-kun. Please take it."

Uenoyama still doesn't move to grab it. Mafuyu grabs his hand and bends up his fingers, putting the soft fabric in his palm. "I insist."

A sigh passes through him, but all of the will to fight against it is gone. He puts on the jacket, and while it is tight around the shoulders and shorter than it should be, it does fit. 

And it does warm him up. He sighs contently. 

He turns to look at Mafuyu, but his boyfriend is no longer meeting his eye. His almond eyes are traced to the passing traffic, his cheeks dusted a light pink. 

"Thank you," Uenoyama musters and presses a kiss to Mafuyu's forehead. Mafuyu turns to look at him. His blush intensifies, now a solid red, and he nods mutely. 

When Uenoyama finally returns home, he notices that he forgot to return the jacket, and it's still adorning his frame. He wants to feel bad, but to be surrounded by his boyfriend's smell isn't so awful either.

_14\. It looks good on you_

Uenoyama fingers at the hem of his shirt, pulling the fabric from his neck.

He’s early. It’s still another ten minutes before Mafuyu is supposed to show up, but he can’t help feeling more on edge than ever before. 

The shirt he’s wearing is new. He had bought it on a whim when he was out and about with Yayoi. She had seen it through the shop’s window and commented about how it would suit him.

“It would bring out your eyes,” she had said, pointing over at the blue polo-sweater. Uenoyama had looked at it for a while before he went inside to test it out. He ended up buying it, ignoring Yayoi's teasing remarks as he walked out of the shop with a bag in his hand. 

And if he had Mafuyu’s face in front of his mind when he thought about wearing it, that was his secret to keep. 

He hopes Mafuyu will notice, at the same time that he hopes it passes him by. He’s nervous about dressing up for their date; they were so used to hanging out that the clothes they chose to wear when they were out and about didn’t matter. But today, he had gone out of his way to look nice. He had looked himself in the mirror more times than he could count before he left the apartment, convincing himself that it didn’t matter if Mafuyu notices, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

But he does. Of course, he notices.

When Mafuyu arrives a few minutes later, he sends him a blinding smile that makes Uenoyama’s heartbeat loudly in his chest. The ginger-haired boy looks around the cinema as he walks up to his boyfriend, and when he sees that nobody’s looking at them he takes the chance to press a kiss to Uenoyama’s cheek.

Uenoyama can feel his cheeks warm up.

“Good evening, Uenoyama-kun,” Mafuyu says softly, leaning back to look at him properly. Uenoyama can see his amber eyes take him in and his heart starts beating even faster in his chest. “Your outfit… it looks really good on you.”

Uenoyama’s cheeks burns. He hums, and Mafuyu must notice his pleased embarrassment because he giggles and leans in for another peck before he drags Uenoyama hand-in-hand to the ticket booth.****

_15\. There is enough room for both of us._

“Uenoyama-kun,” Mafuyu had voiced earlier that day, during lunch. “Do you want to sleep over tonight?”

“Huh?” Uenoyama hummed, as he felt his ears burn slightly. While Mafuyu had slept over quite a handful of times ever since they got together, they still have yet to do the opposite. “Do you want me to?”

There’s a beat. And then. “Yeah.”

So Uenoyama agreed, loving the way his boyfriend’s face lights up as he says it. 

When they arrive at Mafuyu’s apartment a few hours later, the dark has fallen outside the window. Mafuyu had fallen asleep on Uenoyama’s shoulder on the way there, and there’s still sleep in his eyes as he unlocks the apartment door. 

“My mom isn’t home,” Mafuyu says as they take off their shoes. Uenoyama feels his heartbeat pick up and he has to stop his mind from wandering to places it shouldn’t be thinking about. 

Mafuyu lets Uenoyama wash up first, and he stands under the hot stream of the shower for a bit too long. He hoped that the warm water would help calm down his beating heart, but to no avail.

He just had to accept the fact that it would always beat like crazy whenever he was around his boyfriend. 

When he returns to his boyfriend's bedroom, his black hair still wet, dripping water down onto his shoulders, Mafuyu kisses him on the cheek before he goes into the shower. 

Alone in Mafuyu's bedroom, with burning cheeks, he notices the lack of futon. He feels something in his stomach burn, but he thinks Mafuyu has just forgotten to take it out… or maybe...

Uenoyama sighs. He doesn't want to let his mind run too far. Instead, he sits down onto the floor and pets Kedama, who looks up at him with big, happy eyes.

The door to the bedroom soon opens again, and Mafuyu enters, clad in his pj's. He looks perfect, even with his hair wet and in his nightwear. 

Mafuyu gives Kedama a pet before he grabs Uenoyama's hand, dragging them both to his bed. He must feel the way Uenoyama tenses up because he turns towards him and sends him a soft, small smile.

"I'd like to sleep next to you tonight if that's okay," he says softly, and Uenoyama doesn't miss the pink that dusts his cheeks. "There is enough room for both of us."

Uenoyama feels speechless, but he does manage a nod. Mafuyu beams at him before they both enter the soft haven that is the ginger's bed. 

As soon as they're settled, Mafuyu flops his head down onto Uenoyama's chest, cuddling close. Uenoyama puts his arm around his boyfriend's frame, hoping the singer doesn't hear how fast his heart is beating. Mafuyu's small giggle tells him he knows, and Uenoyama can't help but smile.

He sleeps better than he ever has that night.

_16\. Can you come over?_

Uenoyama is just about to go to sleep when his phone vibrates.

** _From Mafuyu _ **

_ Can you come over? _

Uenoyama feels something like anxiety grow in his stomach as he reads the message. It's close to midnight and Mafuyu has never asked him to come to his place this late. It had been just mere hours ago as they had parted at the train station with a kiss when they were sure no one was looking at them. Mafuyu had been smiling, waving at him happily as he went the other way towards his train.

** _From Uenoyama_ **

_ Is something wrong? _

** _From: Mafuyu _ **

_ Nightmares. Really bad. Can't sleep. _

Usually, when Mafuyu got nightmares and he needed someone to talk to, he'd call. Uenoyama had told him that it was fine, that it didn't matter if he was asleep, _ of course, _he could call him whenever. It had worked fine all the times before, but something tells him that this time, the nightmares are worse.

_ I'll be right there. _ Uenoyama texts as he changes from his pj's into a pair of pants and a t-shirt. He sneaks out quietly, knowing he's gonna get hell for doing so later, but he needs to be with Mafuyu now that he needs him. As he moves in the darkness towards the train station once more, he sends a text to his mom, telling her something came up and he's staying with Mafuyu for the night.

The entire train ride is frustrating. There aren't a lot of people out and about at this time, so it isn't crowded. But he can't help but feel like it's going _so slow_ like he's never gonna arrive at Mafuyu's. It's even more frustrating when he knows that Mafuyu is hurting. 

But the train does arrive at the familiar station before long, and Uenoyama almost runs the entire way from the train station to Mafuyu's apartment.

He doesn't dare ring the doorbell, in case he wakes up Mafuyu's mom. Instead, he texts his boyfriend as soon as he's outside, and it doesn't take long before the door opens.

Uenoyama can only make out the red hair before Mafuyu's body crashes into his, holding him tight and burying his face in his chest. It takes him a few seconds to hug him back because of the initial surprise, but as soon as his arms are around him he pulls Mafuyu closer.

He can feel his shirt getting wet where Mafuyu's face is resting, and he realizes he's crying. His small sniffles are loud in the quietness of the night, and his hands move in circles on his back trying to comfort him.

Knowing he won't get Mafuyu to talk about the nightmares that haunt him, at least not in this very moment, he pulls him into the apartment. He moves them both to the bed and curls himself close to Mafuyu, nosing at his ear and pressing small kisses to his jaw. He doesn't keep track of the time, but Mafuyu calms down eventually, and his breathing evens out. Uenoyama thinks he's fallen asleep and closes his eyes to try to get some shut-eye as well when he feels the sensation of lips against his own.

"Thank you," Mafuyu whispers, his soft voice rough with tears. Uenoyama holds him tighter.

_17\. Go back to sleep_

Uenoyama wakes up to the weight of the mattress moving and a soft press of lips against his cheek.

He blinks, trying to get used to the sun that's peaking in through the window. It takes a while for him to recognize where he is, but then he remembers. Right. A text from Mafuyu in the middle of the night. The never-ending train ride. The hug as he arrived.

He opens his eyes properly and meets the almond ones belonging to Mafuyu. He looks tired, but they're not glistening with tears, not anymore. He smiles down to him, softly, before pecking him on the lips.

"Ritsuka," he says, and that's one of the few times Mafuyu has said his given name and suddenly he feels wide awake. "Go back to sleep."

Uenoyama tries to protest, tries to prod about why Mafuyu is leaving the bed and going up when they could _both _stay in bed, tangled up in each other, but Mafuyu presses a kiss on his lips before he gets the chance. Then he climbs over him and out of the bed, sending him a smile as he closes the bedroom door behind him.

Blue eyes stare at the closed door for a few moments. He thinks that he won't be able to fall back asleep - the way his name, _ Ritsuka_, fell from Mafuyu's lips still spins in his head and it feels like he's going insane (in a good way). But soon enough, sleep claims him once more.

He's awoken a while later with another kiss on his cheek and someone shaking his shoulders.

Mafuyu's lips are pulled into a nervous smile as he opens his eyes once more, and before he can say anything Mafuyu moves to place a tray on Uenoyama's lap. 

"I made you breakfast," he says, quietly, his voice shaking lightly as if he's scared of Uenoyama's reaction. "For coming over last night. Thank you again."

Uenoyama practically melts and he reaches over to pull his boyfriend into the bed again, careful not to hit the tray. He presses a kiss to his forehead and hopes it will portray how he feels, for he has no words.

Mafuyu giggles against him before coaxing him to eat. It's good, of course, it's good, but what's even better is the grin that pulls on Mafuyu's lips as Uenoyama makes it clear that he enjoys the food.

And as he takes another bite and throws another glance at the ginger-haired boy, Uenoyama can't help but think that he wouldn't mind more mornings like this.

_18\. Have you eaten today?_

"Uenoyama-kun."

Said boy looks up from the papers in front of him, startled out of his focus. He looks up at Mafuyu, who looks at him with concern in his eyes.

"Are you still making the song?"

Uenoyama nods, feeling the beginning of exhaustion creep upon him. It's Sunday, and since he doesn't have school he had booked the practice room for longer today. 

"I'm gonna go there first thing in the morning," He had told Mafuyu yesterday evening when they talked on the phone. He remembered Mafuyu's small 'ah' in understanding.

"To write the song?"

"Yeah."

"I have to take Kedama to the vet tomorrow," Mafuyu continued, and he had spoken slowly. Uenoyama could hear the small dog in the background. "I'll come as soon as I can to help you with the song. I won't be able to come in the morning though."

"It's fine, Mafuyu," Uenoyama had said, rolling onto his back on the bed. "You can come whenever."

They had continued to talk for a while after, before saying goodnight. Time always passes by really quickly when they talk, and Uenoyama ended up going to sleep later than he was planning to. 

That, and the fact that he's been working on the song for hours now, makes his eyes droopy. 

Mafuyu must see it, because his brows furrow. "Have you eaten anything today?"

"No," Uenoyama replies, feeling bad as the look of worry on his boyfriend's face gets deeper. "I've completely forgotten."

Mafuyu is quiet for a few moments before he puts his guitar down on the floor and disappears out of the door. 

Uenoyama blinks at him, wondering what gotten into him before he looks back onto the music sheets in front of him.

It only takes a few minutes before Mafuyu is back, carrying a plastic bag from the local grocery shop. He puts it next to Uenoyama and unpacks it, pulling out two bentos. He also moves music sheets away, and Uenoyama is about to protest before Mafuyu gives him some chopsticks.

"Eat. Take care of yourself, Ritsuka."

Uenoyama blushes at the soft way Mafuyu speaks his given name, and breaks apart the wooden chopsticks and takes his bento. He sighs contently. 

The song can wait for a while, he thinks. And the pleased smile Mafuyu sends him as he takes the first bite makes it all worth it.

_19\. Do you want a hug?_

Uenoyama sighs, his head hanging down between his knees.

It feels like he's overreacting- no, scratch that, _ he knows _he's overreacting, but it's still going to his head.

He had been too caught up in the band, too caught up in writing songs, that he hadn't studied enough.

The score on his literature exam is the brutal, honest truth of that. 

The score on his literature exam is also proof that he needs to take supplementary exams.

He sighs once more at the thought, angry at himself once more for putting himself in this situation, to begin with.

"Uenoyama-kun," Mafuyu appears at the bottom of the staircase, his smile fading as he sees the absolute dread on his boyfriend's face. "What's wrong?"

Uenoyama's head doesn't leave the place where it rests against his knees, but he both hears and feels how Mafuyu sits down next to him. "I didn't pass my exam," he mumbles, wondering if Mafuyu can even hear him.

"Oh," Mafuyu replies, answering his question. "It happens to everyone sometimes, it's fine."

"It's not," Uenoyama's head finally leaves its nest, and he looks at his boyfriend as he opens up his bento. "I mean, the concert is coming up and we need to practice, but now because I failed I won't have enough time to play and it's stressing me out."

"It'll work out, Uenkyama-kun, I can help you study," Mafuyu looks at him for a while, before he puts down his bento. "Do you want a hug?"

Uenoyama looks over at him. A beat passes. "Yes."

Mafuyu giggles and throws his arms around him, and Uenoyama's hand rests against his waist. They just enjoy the silence and each other's warmth before pulling away.

"I'm gonna tell Haruki-kun about it," Mafuyu teases as he pulls away, and Uenoyama can feel himself scowl.

"Please don't!"

Mafuyu's giggles resonate throughout the empty gymnasium, and Uenoyama finds himself smiling too. With Mafuyu by his side, he's sure everything will be alright.

_20\. It's like I've known you all my life_

It's weird, how quickly Mafuyu becomes a part of Uenoyama's life. It's weird to think that just a few months ago, they were both strangers. That it was just less than a year ago that they met on that staircase and Uenoyama fixed his guitar.

It's weird because Mafuyu almost feels like a part of him. As Uenoyama reaches over to hold his hand, despite the redness burning at the tip of his ears, he can't help but think that _yes, this is where I'm meant to be _when their fingers intertwine. When he catches Mafuyu stealing glances when he thinks he can't see. When his thoughts are all filled with _Mafuyu Mafuyu Mafuyu_, making his lips pull into a smile.

At first, Uenoyama is scared he's feeling too much. They haven't known each other for long after all, and this is the first time someone is this important to him. What if Mafuyu, who has the experience and past love, doesn't put the same weight on his relationship as he does? 

He tries to convince himself that he's being ridiculous, but it still keeps him tossing and turning late into the night, his mind a mess that keeps him awake.

"It feels like I've known you all my life," Mafuyu says one day, during one of their breaks at practice. The laughter from them joking around is still stuck in his throat, but Uenoyama can tell that he's serious because of the happy gleam in his eye. Relief floods in his veins at the words, and he presses forward to catch Mafuyu's lips with his.

Uenoyama is sure that they were meant to be.


	3. twenty one through thirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya! ~   
so... two months later i get around to updating this... sorry it took so long! life has just been really busy lately, i haven't really had that much time to write. hopefully, i'll get the next chapter out faster!
> 
> anyway, thanks for sticking around and i hope you enjoy!

_21\. Can I have this dance?_

“I’m home!” Mafuyu exclaims as he opens the door to his apartment, followed closely by Uenoyama. As he expected, no one replies - he vaguely remembers his mom talking about spending some time with a friend this evening - and he closes the door easily behind both of them. Uenoyama apologizes for the intrusion quietly and they let go of each other’s hands in order to take off their shoes and jackets.

“What part of the movie was your favorite?” Uenoyama asks as they drop their bags to the floor in Mafuyu’s bedroom a few moments later. Mafuyu hums as he thinks. 

“I liked their final performance,” Mafuyu answers after a few moments of consideration. “And the part where they danced in the rain.”

“Huh,” Uenoyama hums, seemingly surprised by the end of his answer. “Why the dancing scene?”

Mafuyu looks away from Uenoyama, and stares at the window, at the dark streets outside. “It was romantic, I guess.” 

Uenoyama hums but doesn’t say anything else. They soon change topics, and before long they’re both on the bed, their lips red from kissing. 

“Ritsuka,” Mafuyu whines as said boy’s lips keep pecking him on his cheeks, his jaw, his nose, his lips. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

Uenoyama sighs and presses a long kiss to his lips before he moves to pull away. “Okay.”

Mafuyu hurries to take care of his business, and as he enters his room once more there’s music playing from Ritsuka’s phone. 

It’s slow, sensual and romantic. Ritsuka won’t meet his eyes, his face red and burning. His hand is stretched out towards Mafuyu, and he can feel his heart skip a beat.

“Can I have this dance?” 

Mafuyu stares for a moment. Before he feels his lips pull into a small smile. "Yes."

He puts his hand in Uenoyama's, and the black-haired man pulls him in against him. Uenoyama's hands fall to rest around Mafuyu's waist, as Mafuyu's arms loop around Ritsuka's neck. 

They're not good at dancing, but neither seems to mind. They move slowly, back and forth, not in beat to the music. Ritsuka looks at him like he hung all the stars, and Mafuyu is quite sure that he looks he's sending back is telling Ritsuka the same. 

The music stops, but they continue to move slowly. In each other's embrace, they hold each other, as the night grows darker all around them.

_22\. Call me when you’re home_

“Ritsuka-kun,” Mafuyu voices as they came to a stop outside of the train station. They’re standing in the shadows, away from the crowds of people that are still out and about. Their hands are intertwined, and Mafuyu knows he isn’t imagining the pink on Uenoyama’s cheeks. “Thank you for today. I had fun.”

“I’m glad,” Uenoyama replies as he squeezes their hands. He bits the inside of his cheek, as he thinks of what to say, a habit Mafuyu can’t help but find adorable. “You sure you don’t want to stay the night?”

"Yeah, I'm sure," Mafuyu answers, leaning forward to peck Uenoyama's cheek. "I don't want to intrude more than I already do."

He can tell Uenoyama wants to protest - that his family doesn't mind having him over, they like him and they are always happy to have him - but he seems to swallow it down. They've been over this already, and they both know Mafuyu won't change his mind today.

"Okay," Uenoyama smiles, moving their intertwined hands up to kiss Mafuyu's knuckles. "Promise to call me when you get home."

Mafuyu smiles happily. "I will."

They part ways with a kiss and before long, Mafuyu is on the train home. The trip takes a while, and he spends minutes thinking about the day that has passed. As the person who sits in front of him gets off, he catches sight of himself in the window. He's smiling, and he looks genuinely happy.

He loses sight of it though, as another passenger sits down in the empty seat, successfully blocking the view.

A while later, Mafuyu walks into his home. His mother is home as well, and he chats with her for a few moments before he goes into his bedroom and closes the door.

He lays down on the bed and picks up his phone, putting it against his ear as the rings start to sound.

As soon as he can hear the line being picked up, he says "I'm home."

He can hear the smile in Ritsuka's voice as he replies "Welcome back."

_23\. I dreamed about you_

Mafuyu sighs, and then opens his eyes.

The sun is bright in the otherwise dark bedroom. He moves, stretches his legs a bit and moves to look at the clock on his phone. It’s a few minutes past 7 AM, and Mafuyu can’t remember the last time he woke up this early on a weekend. He usually tries to sleep in, but all of the tiredness in him is gone. 

He’s startled from his thoughts by an arm getting slung over his waist. The warmth next to him moves closer, and Ritsuka - whose still deep in sleep - mumbles something akin to Mafuyu’s name as he nuzzles closer.

Mafuyu moves to face his boyfriend, and he watches him take even breathes. 

Uenoyama _always_ looks good - but there’s something about seeing him like this, peaceful and dreaming. Without thinking about it, Mafuyu reaches out his hand, letting his knuckles move softly over the apples of Uenoyama’s cheeks. 

“Mm,” he mumbles at the touch, leaning into the warmth of Mafuyu’s hand. “Mafuyu.”

His name is clearer this time, and Mafuyu smiles before he leans in to press a kiss to Uenoyama’s lips. He can’t help himself. It doesn’t take more than a few seconds before Ritsuka presses back, moving his lips against his, and it’s bliss.

When they pull away, Mafuyu feels guilty for waking him up, but it disappears the moment he looks into those blue eyes. 

Uenoyama pulls him closer to his chest, hugging him close. 

“I dreamed about you”, he says, in lieu of good morning. 

“Wanna tell me about it?” Mafuyu asks, sighing contentedly as he rests his head against Uenoyama’s chest. Uenoyama hums and starts to tell him about what he can remember of the dream. 

Amid the story, involving two boys in love and the music they make together, the sun slowly rises outside his window, the sunlight warming up their skin. 

_24\. You don’t have to go through this alone_

As soon as he opened up his eyes earlier this morning, Mafuyu could tell that this was going to be _one of those days_.

He feels empty and lost as he brushes his teeth, and it's with a feeling of dread that he waves goodbye to his mom and makes his way to school.

As soon as Uenoyama lays his eyes on him, his big grin turns into a look of concern. Mafuyu knew he would notice, but it still feels like a small failure; he doesn't want to worry him. 

Despite however obvious his feelings are, Uenoyama greets him like usual and makes small talk; _the song is coming along well, practice is gonna be fun today, did you know Haruki said this?_ Mafuyu listens half-heartedly, sending a small smile to his boyfriend as they part ways at their classrooms.

Class passes in a blur, and it's not before long that the bell rings. Mafuyu barely has any time to react before Ritsuka is there, holding onto his wrist and dragging him to their lunch-spot.

The moment they sit down, Uenoyama's arms are around him, holding him close.

"Mafuyu," Ritsuka says quietly, his cheek resting against his Mafuyu's. Mafuyu closes his eyes and leans closer, his own arms wrapping around his boyfriend's bigger frame. "You don't have to go through this alone."

At the words, Mafuyu can feel his chest get warm. He nuzzles his face into the crook of Uenoyama's neck, humming softly.

"I'm here for you, Mafuyu," Ritsuka mumbles, his arms moving up and down on the ginger's back. 

The sun is shining through the windows, the feeling of hopelessness slowly melting away.

_25\. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I care about what you think_

Sometimes, when it’s just him and Uenoyama alone, Mafuyu tends to forget about how their relationship is viewed to others. 

He doesn’t get it, and he never has understood, why love is seen as weird if it’s between two boys. He has known of his attraction to the same-sex for quite a while now, and by now it’s natural to him. And when it’s just them, holding one another, pressing kisses to soft skin and whispering soft words, he tends to forget the harsh reality.

Mafuyu admits, that it’s hard not to show any of their relationship to the public. He knows Uenoyama thinks so too; he has noticed the too-long glances he sends his way in the hallway, the glances that Mafuyu now knows means that he wants to hold him close. Sometimes, he wants to reach out and grab his hand, intertwine their fingers just to show everyone that _hey, we’re together, what’s wrong with that? _

He knows it would make the band look bad, so he doesn’t. If it wasn’t for the promise they both made to Haruki, Mafuyu’s sure he would’ve already made it clear to the people around him. 

“I don’t understand,” Mafuyu says in between slow kisses one day in Uenoyama’s room. They’re pressed close to each other, leaning against one of the walls. They’re supposed to be making music, but their guitars are long forgotten on the floor next to them, along with all the music sheets. Uenoyama hums against his skin, his lips pressing softly against his cheek.

“What don’t you understand?” He asks, his nose nuzzling against Mafuyu’s temple.

“Why some people think this is wrong,” Mafuyu explains, and he feels Uenoyama pull away to look at him. His eyebrows are furrowed, obviously confused as to what they’re talking about. “This - _ us_. I don’t understand, it’s just love, isn’t it? Just because we happen to be two boys…”

His voice trails off, and he doesn’t look at Uenoyama. Instead, he looks out towards the room, at the mess of papers and instruments. A small silence falls over them before Uenoyama moves to gather him up in his arms.

Mafuyu’s face gets pressed into his chest, and he can feel how tightly Uenoyama is holding onto him. His arms go around him to hold him close, feeling the familiar warmth all around him.

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks,” he begins, burrowing his face in Mafuyu’s red hair. “I care what you think. I agree that it’s awful that we can’t show this to the world the way we want to. But as long as you want this, I’d do anything for you, even if it means hiding us in public.”

Mafuyu presses closer in a wordless reply. He shares the sentiment Uenoyama does, and he hopes that the way he presses close is enough to make his feelings clear. 

_26\. I saved some for you_

“I thought you didn't like those, Ritsuka-kun.”

Mafuyu watches as Uenoyama splutters and how his cheeks color. The dark-haired boy looks down onto the package in his hand; he’s holding onto a sweet candy, one that he usually doesn’t eat. 

It is, however, one of Mafuyu’s favorites.

A few weeks ago, Mafuyu had bought one at a vending machine they passed by on their way home from practice. He had offered some to Uenoyama, and his boyfriend had leaned down to take a bite-

Only to spit it out a moment later.

Mafuyu remembers laughing as Ritsuka had been trying hard to get the flavor off of his tongue, and when they finally get moving again Mafuyu had teased him, saying that it’s fine that he didn’t like it since it meant there would be more to him.

Which explains his confusion and surprise when he can see Uenoyama holding onto them know.

Uenoyama seems to sense it, and he brings a hand up to the back of his head as he explains. “I missed you yesterday when you were at work, and for some reason, I couldn’t help craving these. I saved some for you, though.

Mafuyu feels his heart melt at the gesture, moving forward to grab the empty hand. He watches as Uenoyama turns his hand around, so they’re palm-to-palm before he intertwines their fingers. The sight of their hands makes his heartbeat loudly in his chest.

“You only saved them for me because you couldn’t finish them yourself, didn’t you?”

Uenoyama jumps at the accusation, looking the other way and hiding his face from view. Laughter bubbles up from Mafuyu, and he moves closer to Uenoyama, putting his head on his shoulders.

Mafuyu ends up eating the rest, but Uenoyama is the one who feeds him them, moving them to his lips and turning a darker shade of pink whenever Mafuyu’s lips come in contact with Uenoyama’s skin (which Mafuyu, of course, makes sure to do just for that reason alone).

_27\. Can you hold me?_

Mafuyu is waiting in his boyfriend’s room, as Uenoyama is in the bathroom, washing up before going to bed. They had meant to go to bed earlier, but they had gotten so caught up in the new songs and the kisses they shared in between, that they had completely forgotten the time.

Despite it being late, Mafuyu doesn’t feel tired in the least. He can’t help but sigh contently as he listens to the water run from inside the bathroom - they’ve been together for quite a while now, and it never ceases to amaze him just how comfortable he is around his boyfriend and his family now. 

He never thought he’d get here again after last winter. It’s strange, how life can change.

Mafuyu is playing around on his phone when he hears the water stop. It doesn’t take long before Uenoyama appears in the doorway, a small smile on his face as his eyes stop on Mafuyu. 

The ginger can feel his eyes soften, and without a word, they both climb into the bed. The futon that Mafuyu used to sleep now is still hidden in the closet, no longer a necessary part of their sleep-overs.

As they settle down, Uenoyama presses his face into the crock of Mafuyu’s neck, his breath warm against his skin. Mafuyu lets out a sigh, as his hand comes up to play with the strands of Ritsuka’s hair.

His boyfriend seems to be sleepier than him, and he practically melts as Mafuyu’s fingers move against his scalp. He moves even closer. 

“Can you hold me?” Uenoyama asks, his voice a mere whisper as he gets closer and closer to falling asleep. Mafuyu’s eyes widen at first; Ritsuka has always been shy about what he wants, but it seems like he can’t find himself in it to care when he’s this sleepy. Mafuyu makes a mental note to tease him about it when they wake up tomorrow, but for now…

For now, he holds his boyfriend close and sleeps.

_28\. Listen to this song, it reminds me of you_

One would think that they get enough music as it is - in practice, whenever they get together to write songs or when they perform. It’s what their lives revolve around for the most part, and ever since he joined the band he’s found that he thinks about music much more than he ever used to; he notices the songs on the radio, how the melody flows and the way the words come together in a usually bittersweet story. He notices the melodies flowing through-out the grocery store, and the mall. He notices it in the background of his favorite shows and all the while he can’t stop himself from humming along or thinking about the process of making it.

One would think that they get enough music as it is and that it possibly couldn’t mean more than it already does to him.

A text proves it wrong.

_ “Listen to this song, it reminds me of you.” _

It’s late in the evening, and he’s at his desk studying when Mafuyu clicks on the link. It takes him to a video, and a song starts slowly. The melody is unlike anything they make, but it’s soothing and the red-head can’t help but sway along to the music. 

When the singing starts, his attention strays from the melody to the words itself. It’s an English, and Mafuyu has to listen closely to know what they’re singing about. They don’t mention the word love, but despite his average English skills, he can tell that that’s the emotions the song wants to provide. 

He presses the phone to his chest and just listens, feeling happiness grow in his chest. It always makes him happy to know that Uenoyama is thinking about him, even when they aren’t together. The gesture makes his lips form a smile, and he closes his eyes and just _listens. _

When the song ends, he quickly presses replay, drowning in the sound of Uenoyama’s love. 

_29\. I like when you wear my clothes_

The doorbell rings, at 3 pm sharp. 

Mafuyu leaves his phone on the bed as he moves to answer it, already knowing who will be waiting on the other side. 

He thinks back to the first time Ritsuka had visited him; it was the day after their live performance as well as the day after the kiss. Mafuyu had been sick, not able to make it to either school or practice. Although he, back then, was more subtle about his feelings, he was happy that Ritsuka had shown up. 

The look on Ritsuka's face had been nothing but one of nervousness as he opened up the door. Followed by concern. And badly-hidden want. 

Mafuyu smiles at the memory, as he pads across the kitchen into the genkan. They've come far since then; Uenoyama doesn't have any problems whatsoever when he visits now, and Mafuyu can tell that his boyfriend feels comfortable here now too.

And as his hand falls onto the doorknob and the door is pushed open, he once more gets a view of the warm smile that greets him nowadays.

At least for a few seconds. Because then Ritsuka's smile fades and turns into a look of surprise as his eyes widen.

Stunned by the sudden and unexpected reaction from his boyfriend, it takes a while to form words. "...Ritsuka?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Is something wrong?" Mafuyu asks, and the concern in his voice seems to make Uenoyama snap out of whatever trance he was in. Mafuyu watches as Uenoyama's cheeks color and how his blue eyes quite won't meet his.

"You-" Uenoyama begins, clearing his throat. "It's just… I like it when you wear my clothes."

A beat. "Oh."

Mafuyu had completely forgotten about it, how he had noticed Uenoyama's sweatshirt laying forgotten on his floor, no doubt left there from their latest sleepover, and how he didn’t hesitate in pulling it over his head. It was warm and slightly too long, the hem of it falling to his thighs. It smelled like Ritsuka too, and it was a comfort on the days where they didn't sleep next to one another.

His chest feels warm. Ritsuka still isn't meeting his eyes. He reaches up to peck him on his cheek. "Thank you. Do you want to come in or are you going to stand there?" 

Uenoyama finally looks at him, and he tries to hide his embarrassment as he replies, even though his red face and ear gives him away. "O-of course I want to come in!"

Mafuyu laughs as Uenoyama moves inside the apartment. As he moves to close the door, he can feel a smirk pull onto his lips. "I like wearing your clothes too. But I like it even more when you take them off me."

"Ma-Mafuyu!" Uenoyama's embarrassed voice and Mafuyu's teasing giggles disappear behind the door, as it shuts closed.

_30\. How was your day?_

Uenoyama is waiting for him as he gets to the school gates. His eyes are on his phone, but he looks up the moment he sees Mafuyu approach. He raises his hand in a wave, and Mafuyu waves back.

“Hi,” Ritsuka replies, looking down at Mafuyu with a fond look. Mafuyu knows exactly what that voice is trying to convey; it’s trying to convey how Uenoyama just wants to pull him close and press their lips together. Due to the large number of students leaving the school and passing them by, it’s impossible to get closer without people noticing, but it’s fine - the gaze warms him up a bit anyway.

“Hi,” Mafuyu smiles, and they move slowly towards practice.

They walk in silence for a while, moving across the streets at an even pace. As they come to a crossing, and as they wait for the light to turn green, Uenoyama looks down at Mafuyu, bumping his shoulder with his own. “How was your day?”

School had been busy today, and they haven’t really gotten a chance to talk; Mafuyu was busy completing homework that he was supposed to have finished earlier during the breaks, and during lunch, Uenoyama got whisked away by Ueki and Itaya. It’s just now that they both had time to chat with one another. 

So Mafuyu tells him - that it was a normal day, that he managed to finish the homework in the end and that lunch was lonely without him (which made Uenoyama’s cheeks pinkier). He asks the question back to him as the light finally turns green and they can cross. 

And as he listens to Uenoyama talk about his day - how he had been wanting to eat lunch with Mafuyu but his friends had dragged him off to basketball, and it had ended up being quite fun in the end - he can’t help but think that this is the best part of the day so far.


	4. thirty one through forty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again!
> 
> not even a week since last chapter, and i'm here to update again! what has gotten into me?!?!? nah, but i felt like working on this. i really enjoy writing about our two favorite boys, even if it sometimes takes me a while to get chapters finished. 
> 
> there are slight manga spoilers in this chapter - watch out for number 33, if you want to avoid spoilers
> 
> also, sorry that i haven't replied to some comments yet! i've been super busy, but i see them all and they make me so happy! thank you!
> 
> but i hope you'll enjoy this as well!! and thank you so much for reading!

_31\. Surprise!_

Uenoyama stares. 

He has been staring at the same spot for what must’ve been a minute or so now. He feels frozen onto the floor, all his limbs numb and his lips open in a small circle.

Because in Mafuyu’s hands is a package and not _ any _ package; no. It’s a package holding onto a pair of shoes, that Uenoyama has been saving up for _ ages _. A pair of shoes that he has pointed out to his boyfriend every time they passed by the shop’s window. A pair of shoes who’s price tag always made him shudder.

The very same pair of shoes is now resting in the package, that is now resting in Mafuyu’s hands. 

And speaking of Mafuyu - as Uenoyama comes out of his trance he can hear the beautiful sound of his giggles, vibrating around the stairwell. The look on his face is one of surprise and amazement, as he takes in Uenoyama’s reaction.

“Those-” Uenoyama begins, but the words get caught in his throat. He tries to find something to say, but the best he can do is just to let out a confused “what?”

He’s awarded by Mafuyu’s adorable laugh once more. “Surprise! I got them for you. They’re yours!”

“But-but how?”

“I saved some money from work,” Mafuyu explains, and for the first time since he presented the gift to him, he looks away, out the window. “I wanted to buy them for you. So I did.”

Uenoyama looks down at the shoes again; he can feel his mouth open and close like that of a fish’s, but he doesn’t care. He can feel his smile get all wobbly, so he does the first thing he thinks of to hide it- 

He throws his arms around Mafuyu, holding him close. Mafuyu is quick with putting his arms around Uenoyama, too.

“Thank you so much, Mafuyu,” Uenoyama mumbles into his hair. Mafuyu’s hold tightens around him as he answers with a quiet ‘you’re welcome’. 

And when they finally do pull away, and Uenoyama discreetly moves to dry his eyes, he thinks about what to get Mafuyu in return; and he promises to make Mafuyu as touched as his gift made him. 

_32\. Take a shower with me_

Their hands are intertwined as they both lay on different sides of Mafuyu’s bed. They’re both breathing heavily as they both are doing their best to come down from their high. Despite them both still wearing all of their clothes, Uenoyama can’t help but feel gross, at the stickiness inside his underwear. 

Mafuyu squeezes his hand and Uenoyama looks over at his boyfriend, at the sated look on his face. 

“Take a shower with me, Ritsuka-kun,” he asks as if he was reading Ritsuka’s mind, and he curls closer to Uenoyama’s side. He hums. 

“You want to?”

“Yes, obviously,” Mafuyu replies as he nuzzles into Uenoyama’s neck, pressing a kiss to the sweaty skin. 

“Let’s do it then,” Uenoyama agrees, pressing a kiss to Mafuyu’s forehead before they both stumble into the bathroom on wobbly knees. 

They’re in the shower longer than any of them are used to, but neither of them minds. Time is easily forgotten when they hold each other close under the warm spray of water falling over them.

_33\. Stay with me, if you need to_

Ever since he left home a while ago, he hasn’t been able to think straight. Or think at all. 

He barely even knows how he managed to get to Mafuyu’s place. 

He knocks on the door and waits for it to open. He can hear the familiar sound of Mafuyu’s footsteps getting closer, and before long the door is open and his boyfriend is staring at him with wide eyes. “Uenoyama-kun?”

“Hi,” Uenoyama starts. He doesn’t have an explanation for coming all the way here, and he didn’t mention it to Mafuyu beforehand either. His boyfriend seems to notice something is off though, as his eyebrows furrow and he pulls Uenoyama inside of the apartment.

Uenoyama takes his shoes off in the genkan, before Mafuyu leads him into the bedroom by the hand, closing the door behind him. Mafuyu turns around to look at him, worry evident in his eyes. 

“My sister,” Uenoyama begins to explain because he feels safe now, he feels okay next to Mafuyu, inside his familiar bedroom. Mafuyu nods but doesn’t chime in. “She, uh. She knows about us and uh- well, she. She didn’t- didn’t take it too well and I just-”

Mafuyu’s throws his arms around him, pulling Uenoyama’s face down into his neck. Uenoyama breathes in slowly, but he can feel the tears well up in his eyes against his own will. Mafuyu can probably tell that he’s shaking, but he doesn’t mention it, he just holds him closer.

Uenoyama lets it out, lets the tears flow, because even though he tried to hide it, it fucking _ hurts _. 

“Ritsuka-kun,” Mafuyu speaks softly, his arms tightening around him. “Stay with me, if you need to.”

Uenoyama nods, and more tears fall down his cheeks. They stand together until Uenoyama’s cheeks have dried before curling up together in the bed, holding each other close. 

_34\. I’ll pay for you_

Uenoyama can feel his eye twitch. 

Thank _ god _Mafuyu is as cute as he is.

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been standing in the aisle at the supermarket. He’s not even sure he _ wants _to know. It feels like an eternity and a half, and Mafuyu still hasn’t decided what he wants.

His almond eyes keep switching between the two items in his hands, and he’s biting his lips lightly as he seems to be going through the arguments of which item is the one he should buy in his head. 

“Ritsuka-kun,” Mafuyu suddenly says, looking away from the items in his hand for the first time since he picked them up. “I can’t decide”.

_ Yeah, no shit. _Uenoyama thinks but doesn’t say. Instead, he moves one of his hands to the back of his neck when he suggests; “why not both?”

“I don’t have enough money for both,” Mafuyu replies sadly, looking down onto the items once more.

And _ goddammit, _ he’s _ pouting _.

Uenoyama can feel his resolve crumbling. He clicks his tongue and moves to grab both of the items out of his boyfriend’s hands, gaining a questioning look from Mafuyu.

“I’ll pay for you,” Uenoyama explains, and Mafuyu’s face lights up instantly. 

_ Ah, he’s too cute. _

When they exit the store, Uenoyama’s wallet is emptier than when they entered. But as Mafuyu grabs his hand, despite the people all around them, and thanks him with his sweet voice, he finds that he made the right thing. 

_35\. I’ll come pick you up_

“Ritsuka-kun.”

“Hm?”

Uenoyama is laying on his bed, trying his best to do the homework that’s due soon. Mafuyu’s voice is sweet in his ear. He loves their calls. Even if they don’t have a lot to talk about, at times, it’s still nice to just be able to hear him on the other side of the line. It’s comforting, and it feels like he’s next to him, even on the days they spend in their own homes. 

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” Mafuyu asks, and Uenoyama can hear the television in the background. He hums. 

“Nothing particular. Why?”

“Do you want to go on a date?” Mafuyu voices and Uenoyama’s heart skips a beat in his chest. With those words, he no longer can focus on the homework. Instead, he focuses completely on the call, on his boyfriend’s melodic voice. 

“Yes. Yes, that would be nice,” Uenoyama replies, and he can feel his cheeks color as Mafuyu giggles. “What do you want to do?”

“I’ll plan it. I’ll come pick you up, too,” Mafuyu explains softly. “You’ll just enjoy it.”

His first instinct is to protest because he wants to do something nice to Mafuyu, too. But he soon lets that thought go; he knows Mafuyu wants to make him happy, too, and besides - he doesn’t mind getting spoiled by his boyfriend sometimes, either.

Uenoyama smiles into the phone. “I can’t wait for it.”

_36\. Have a good day at work_

They walk together, but to different goals today; Uenoyama is, as usual, going to the practice room, while Mafuyu is on his way to work. They had called him in today, saying they were low on staff, and although Uenoyama could tell that he would much rather go and practice music with the others, he had told his boss he would be there. 

Although he knows that it’s not, Uenoyama can’t help but feel like the walk was much quicker than usual, as they come to a stop outside the concert value. 

“I’ll be off then,” Mafuyu tells him, looking over at him fondly. Uenoyama would do everything to kiss him, but there are too many people around. 

He moves a lock of hair behind Mafuyu’s ears instead, as a goodbye gesture. Mafuyu’s cheeks get pink underneath his touch, and he can’t help but smile. “Have a good day at work.”

Mafuyu smiles back at him, as Uenoyama drops his hand down. “I will. I’ll call you later.”

Uenoyama stays until Mafuyu disappears behind the doors to the venue, before moving along to practice. 

_37\. Let me carry that_

“And, there we go!” Akihiko announces as he drops another box onto the ground in front of them. Uenoyama can feel his eyebrow twitch.

Is it just him or are the boxes with CDs becoming… even bigger?

“Thank you,” Mafuyu replies, seemingly not bothered by the increasing size. As he moves down to pick it up, Uenoyama finds himself stopping him. 

“Mafuyu,” his boyfriend looks up at him. “Let me carry that.”

“Oh,” Mafuyu smiles softly, his hazel eyes warm and inviting. It makes Uenoyama stop in his tracks for a few seconds, feeling the warmth spread inside of him. “Thank you.”

Uenoyama mumbles that it’s not a problem at all, but he soon finds that it’s wrong when he puts his hands under the box to lift it.

_ Fuck. It’s heavy_.

“Ue-sama, sure you can handle it?” Akihiko asks, and Uenoyama tries to glare at him, but he finds that he can’t really, as it would make him drop the box.

“I’m. _ fine, _” Uenoyama replies, his lips a thin line as he tries his best to keep the box in his hands. He’s soon standing straight once more, but he can feel how his legs are all wobbly. He curses softly.

“Ritsuka-kun,” Mafuyu voices, and Uenoyama doesn’t need to take his eyes away from the box to tell that he has a worried look on his face. “Are you sure you can take it?”

“Yes!” Uenoyama exclaims and turns around slowly to start going down the street. If he loses his momentum now, he’s sure he won’t be able to carry it. “Let’s go, Mafuyu.”

He can hear Mafuyu give his thanks and goodbyes to Akihiko, before the sound of footsteps gets louder behind him. Mafuyu is soon emerging next to him. 

“Do you want me to carry it, Ritsuka-kun?” Mafuyu asks again, and Uenoyama shakes his head slowly. He can feel how he’s starting to sweat, but he refuses to back down. 

In the end, he ends up carrying the entire way to Mafuyu’s place. He’s sore all over, but he can’t help but somehow find it to be worth it from the thankful look Mafuyu sends him. The way Mafuyu dotes on him that night as well, making sure that he’s okay and giving him a massage, makes him think that even if the next box would be even heavier, he wouldn’t mind carrying it again.

_38\. I’ll get us some coffee_

The final chord is still vibrating through the room. Uenoyama is breathing heavily, the sweat running down his skin as he once more gets used to his surroundings. 

He always finds himself getting lost in the music during practice. It’s a way for him to feel the music they’re playing as well as a way for him to become a part of it. Although he likes the way he becomes one with the music, he always finds himself tired when he gets out of his zone. 

One glance around the room tells him that he isn’t the only one in the band that’s tired; Haruki looks close to asleep, his head resting against his chest as he breathes heavily. Akihiko’s gaze is turned upward, and even from here Uenoyama can see the way his skin is wet with sweat. Even Mafuyu looks tired, standing still on his spot as he also tries to fill in the air in his lungs. 

“What- what about a break?” Haruki manages to get out in between deep breathes. “We did well just now. We deserve a break.”

The rest of them nod, a chorus of agreement ringing out in the hall before they move to put away their instruments. Before Uenoyama has put his guitar down fully against the wall, he sees Mafuyu in the corner of his eye.

“Ritsuka-kun,” he begins, his voice as soft as usual, even though his breathing still isn’t completely back to normal. “I’ll get us some coffee.”

“Oh, sure,” he begins, but Mafuyu is already outside of the practice room before he can finish. He blinks at the door as is falls closed.

“Ue-sama,” Akihiko suddenly speaks up. Uenoyama turns to look at him, and there’s something teasing in his face. “Mafuyu seems to love dotting at you.”

“Huh?” Uenoyama exclaims, begging inwardly for his cheeks not to flare red, despite the heat he can feel moving towards them. He knows it’s futile when Haruki hides his lips behind a hand, trying hard not to laugh. His cheeks get even warmer.

“Mafuyu was looking at you worryingly the entire song. Bet you were too into it that you didn’t notice.” Uenoyama feels his stomach flutter.

“He was?”

“Yeah,” Akihiko nods as Haruki mutters something about ‘he’s really smitten by you, isn’t he’ in the background. Before Uenoyama can reply the door opens again, and Mafuyu walks inside, holding onto two cups. The aroma of coffee spreads quickly around the room. 

“Here, Ritsuka-kun,” Mafuyu moves one of the paper cups towards him and he takes it, smiling at him in thanks. He brings his lips to press against the lid, and before long he’s tasting the warm liquid. 

The coffee has just the right amount of milk and sugar in it. Mafuyu _remembered _how he preferred his coffee.

He chances a glance over the lid over to his two bandmates, and Akihiko and Haruki smirk back at him knowingly. 

Uenoyama promises he’s gonna get revenge someday, as he feels his cheeks heat up again. But for now, he’s more than content to stand next to Mafuyu, their shoulders touching as they sip on their warm drinks.

_39\. I made your favorite_

“Don’t bring a bento to school tomorrow,” Mafuyu had told him as they were to part ways at the train station. Uenoyama had looked at him questioningly, and Mafuyu had pouted. “Just skip it, okay?”

So Uenoyama had. He would do anything Mafuyu asked of him, even if it meant not having any lunch at school that day. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t regretting it a little bit though when the school bell rang and his classmates moved to grab their lunchboxes. 

He moves towards the staircase where Mafuyu waits. His stomach is grumbling, and for a few moments he’s thinking about going to the cafeteria to grab something to eat real quick, but he decides against it. Before long, he can see Mafuyu’s salmon pink hair and his warm, hazel eyes, and he smiles. 

Mafuyu notices him at almost the same time Uenoyama does, and he smiles back. As Uenoyama is walking up the stairs to the landing where Mafuyu currently sits, he spots something that isn’t part of their daily routine.

His boyfriend is not holding onto one, but _two _lunchboxes. 

Uenoyama is about to ask about it, but before he can get any words out, Mafuyu is holding out the bento to him.

“I made your favorite,” is all he says, and Uenoyama feels frozen in place for a while before the warmth spreads inside of him. He reaches out to take it, and he both feels and hears how his thanks are stuttered out of him.

Mafuyu is a great cook, and the bento is delicious, and he makes sure to say it out loud too. Mafuyu looks pleased and scoots closer to him, their shoulders touching. They small talk as they eat, and it’s one of the most pleasant lunch breaks Uenoyama has ever had. 

_40\. Sleep as long as you want_

Uenoyama groans as he and Mafuyu finally gets into the latter’s apartment. He feels exhausted; he barely got any sleep the night before and school had been even more dull than usual. It was, by all means, a miracle that he made it the entire way without falling asleep.

He flops down onto Mafuyu’s bed, closing his eyes as his body relaxes on the soft mattress. He sighs contently, but he soon jumps as he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns around, to see Mafuyu looking down at him with a look conveying worry and fondness.

“Shit, sorry,” Uenoyama curses, knowing that Mafuyu needs to do some chores around the apartment when his mom isn’t home. Uenoyama usually helps out with doing the dishes, and although it sounds like a bothersome chore to complete, it’s usually fun when they do it together, as they end up swatting each other with the towel and throwing bubbles at one another. 

As he moves to get up from the bed, the weight of Mafuyu’s hand gets heavier, as he pushes him back down onto the mattress. Uenoyama looks up at his boyfriend, a questioning look in his eyes.

“Go to sleep, Ritsuka-kun. Sleep as long as you want,” he murmurs, pressing a quick kiss to the black-haired man’s forehead. 

Uenoyama feels his cheeks heat up. “You sure?”

Mafuyu nods, says that he’s certain about it, before moving to put a blanket over Uenoyama. It’s with a third and final kiss that Mafuyu bids him goodnight and leaves his bedroom to take care of the chores. 

Uenoyama is asleep before the door clicks closed.


	5. forty through fifty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again!
> 
> we're at the halfway point!! it only took me,,,,, a few months? nah but for real, when i first posted this fic i didn't think it would take me this long to finish it, even yet to reach 50%? but life comes in between sometimes, that's just what it is
> 
> anyway, i'm really excited for the given movie!! i saw the art for it a few days ago, it looks so good!! are you all excited?
> 
> as usual, there might be grammar and/or typos in this. literally wrote it when things were calm at work, so really not the best place to edit it in too yknow? anyway, hope you like it!!

_41\. Sit down, relax. I’ll do it._

Mafuyu stares down at his guitar, a look of betrayal on his face.

The string broke. _ Again_.

He sighs in frustration as he moves into his bag to grab the new strings he bought. When he started playing, he didn't know that they could break this easily. Or this _often. _

Just as he's about to open the package up, Uenoyama enters the room. He's carrying one lemonade and one soda, and he hands Mafuyu the lemonade as he comes up to the table. His eyebrow furrows. "Again?"

Mafuyu sighs in defeat. "Again."

Before he can move and start to open up the package, Uenoyama is taking it from him. Mafuyu looks up at him questionably.

"Sit down and relax, Mafuyu. I'll do it for you." 

Uenoyama wastes no time in opening the package up and Mafuyu sits back and lets him work. He's sipping on his lemonade, enjoying the view of his boyfriend's broad back as he works. 

_42\. You’re never alone_

Uenoyama can tell whenever Mafuyu has a bad day. It doesn't matter how much he tries to hide it - he always somehow knows.

His boyfriend is always really gentle with him during those days. He buys him the sweets he likes. He holds his hand when they walk from school and practice and he holds him close when they get back to Mafuyu's apartment.

He holds Mafuyu close to his chest, pressing kisses all over his face, his neck, and his chest. He whispers sweet nothings, promises, and reassurance in his ears until Mafuyu melts against him.

"You're never alone," is what he's repeating over and over today, as he holds Mafuyu tight. "I'll always be here for you. You'll never be alone. Ever."

It's sweet, and it does help against his darkest of days. Mafuyu leans into his boyfriend's touch and drowns in his voice, letting his hurtful thoughts fade away until all he knows is _Ritsuka, Ritsuka, Ritsuka_.

_43\. I got you_

The snow has been pouring down over Tokyo for the last few days. It has given the grey asphalt a white blanket, and Mafuyu can't help but think that it's a beautiful contrast to the city's big and modern buildings.

He admires it as he and Uenoyama are walking to school. His boyfriend is muttering into his scarf, too annoyed and grumpy because of the cold to admire the scenery.

And maybe admiring the scenery is the reason why Mafuyu suddenly loses footing, as he steps on a particular slippery spot of ice. 

He can feel himself falling backward and the world turning as his stomach swoops. He closes his eyes and braces himself for the hard hit.

But a pair of arms stop his fall. 

Mafuyu opens his eyes to stare into Uenoyama's own. His face is a mixture of surprise and freight, but after a few seconds, it melts away.

He smiles. "I got you, Mafuyu."

_44\. You can have it_

Mafuyu can't help but stare.

He knows it's rude, but he can't stop watching it. He can feel his mouth slowly fall open and his mouth fill with saliva. He swallows thickly

Uenoyama, whose bento is the sole victim of Mafuyu's stare, huffs. "Do you have a problem with my lunch?"

"No," Mafuyu finally looks away from the rice cake to look at his boyfriend. He makes sure to use his puppy eyes when their gazes meet, and he knows that Uenoyama notices it, because his cheeks quickly turn pink. "It's just… that rice cake looks _ really _good."

Uenoyama is quiet for a few moments as if he's lost the ability to speak. Mafuyu waits and he cheers inwardly as Uenoyama sighs and moves his chopsticks to the rice cake. He moves the utensils in front of Mafuyu's mouth. "You can have it."

Mafuyu thanks him, and closes his mouth around the food. He closes his eyes and moans as the taste spreads around his mouth. _ It's good. _

When he opens his eyes again, Uenoyama refuses to look at him. His red ears give away the reason why, and Mafuyu giggles before turning back to his lunch.

_45\. You’re enough_

As of lately, Mafuyu has been in a bind.

Although he's tried his hardest to write more songs, t just hasn't been coming to him. Even though he's had his guitar next to him and his notebook in front of him for hours, it's still blank.

He feels burdened, he can't help it. He knows the rest of the band is waiting for the new song to be finished. They've asked if he needs help too, but he had declined, saying he had the situation under control. 

He doesn't. It's not in control _at all. _

And he can't help that his mind starts working in all the wrong directions. He can't help but wonder if he should be in the band at all, or if he's just making it worse for them.

He voices his thoughts one afternoon, Uenoyama's head resting in his lap. It's quiet and relaxing until the words are out, and Mafuyu can feel the way Uenoyama freezes and tenses at the words. 

He panics at the reaction, trying to say that it was a joke, that he didn't mean, but Uenoyama sits up before he can say anything. His hands come up to rest on either side of his face, and Mafuyu has no choice but to meet his gaze.

"Stop, Mafuyu. You're incredible, you're amazing in the band and it's thanks to you we've gotten as far as we have," Uenoyama's thumb is rubbing circles into the apple of his cheek, and Mafuyu can't help but lean into his touch. "You're enough, Mafuyu. To the band and me. You're the best thing that has happened to it all. So don't question yourself like that."

Mafuyu sits there, speechless, watching the color rise in Uenoyama's cheeks. He swallows, and his voice is watery as he lets out a small "okay".

Uenoyama pulls him into a crushing embrace. Mafuyu knows there's nowhere else he'd rather be.

_46\. Let me help you_

The song still isn't going anywhere.

Despite his boyfriend's reassurance, the words still won't flow from the pen. Mafuyu groans and hides his face in his hands. 

He's frustrated, of course, he is. It's supposed to be completed and presented to the rest of the band in only a matter of days, and he isn't even sure he likes the melody of it yet.

He plucks absentmindedly on the strings of the guitar, listening to the sounds it makes. He can hear Uenoyama sigh from the microphone on his phone, and he looks over to the screen to see his boyfriend look at him in concern.

He had almost forgotten about the video-call.

"Mafuyu," Uenoyama repeats, and Mafuyu lowers his gaze once more to the guitar in front of him. He's frustrated to the point he can feel the familiar pressure of tears behind his eyes. "Let me help you."

"But you have other stuff to do, Ritsuka," Mafuyu protests, and he rests his chin against his hand and sighs. "I don't want to make you stressed because you need to help me."

"It's fine," Uenoyama promises, and Mafuyu looks up to watch as his boyfriend rises from his chair to grab his guitar. When he sits back down again, he sends a small smile his way. "I want to."

Mafuyu is about to protest again, but Uenoyama speaks first. "Please."

A beat. "Fine."

Uenoyama's smile widens, and Mafuyu can feel his lips pull upwards in return. "Okay, so what have you got so far?"

_47\. Take care of yourself_

Exam season is just around the corner and to say that Mafuyu and Uenoyama both are bit stressed is an understatement.

Haruki had told them to take it easy with the practice for a while, and to focus on studying until they've taken their exams. Uenoyama had tried to protest, but Haruki had taken none of it.

So that's where they have been the past couple of days. Holed up in one of their rooms, trying to remember the names of historical figures and mathematical formulas.

It's getting to the point where Mafuyu feels _exhausted _from it, his mind spinning with Japanese history and English verb conjugations. 

"Mafuyu," Uenoyama voices one day, his gaze tearing from the social studies book in front of him to look at his boyfriend. "You should take a nap if you're tired."

A nap _would _feel good right about now, but Mafuyu shakes his head and continues to take notes. "No. I need to study."

Uenoyama sighs before suddenly standing up. Mafuyu watches as he reaches for his wrist and drags him up, before walking them both over to his bed. "You should sleep. Take care of yourself, alright?"

Mafuyu huffs but welcomes the soft mattress underneath him. Uenoyama climbs in next to him, resting his head on Mafuyu's chest. " You should take care of yourself too, Ritsuka."

"I know," he mumbles, his voice muffled by Mafuyu's shirt. "That's why I'm gonna take a nap with you".

The red-haired boy giggles and throws his arms around Uenoyama's shoulders.

He can't argue with that.

_48\. Stay with me_

"Mafuyu."

The name is spoken softly and quietly, and if Mafuyu wasn't awake he wouldn't have heard it. The night sky is dark outside of the apartment, and Mafuyu had woken up do to his boyfriend turning around in the bed, pulling him closer. He hums in reply and waits for Uenoyama to continue, but it seems like he's still deep in sleep. Mafuyu giggles softly.

So he's sleep-talking. _ Cute. _

He nuzzles closer to the warm body next to him, feeling Uenoyama's hands tighten around him once more. He closes his eyes and sighs contently, ready to go to sleep when his boyfriend speaks again.

"Stay with me."

Suddenly, he's wide awake, and Mafuyu pulls away to look into his boyfriend's face. Uenoyama is still sleeping though, and Mafuyu can't help but smile and press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

"Always," he whispers into the night, watching as Uenoyama's lips pull into a smile in answer

_49\. Wow_

Mafuyu is looking at his phone as he's waiting for Uenoyama to arrive. They've planned another date today, and Mafuyu found himself so excited that he ended up arriving at their meeting spot earlier than expected.

It's still another 10 minutes to go before the time they decided on, but from the corner of his eye, he notices a familiar black-haired boy making his way over to him. 

He smiles. _ Of course _, Ritsuka would be early, too.

Uenoyama notices him too, and he raises his hand to wave, but it stops about halfway up as Mafuyu sees his blue eyes widen.

His boyfriend comes to a stop in front of him, his warm eyes taking the sight of him in. It makes him warm all over, to have Uenoyama look at him like he's trying to remember every single detail about him. Mafuyu had dressed up for today, and the stare, as warm as it makes him feel, also makes him feel slightly self-conscious.

The black-haired boy takes a few steps towards him, looks around so that no one is looking before he presses a kiss to his lips. Uenoyama's eyes are still wide when they pull apart.

"Wow," he says, his voice tinted with awe. He presses his lips underneath Mafuyu's eye, earning him a giggle. " Wow, you look good."

Mafuyu smiles, the self-consciousness fading away as fast as it appeared. The fact that Uenoyama is this speechless _because of him _makes his mind spin and his heart quicken.

He takes Uenoyama's hand and pulls him towards their destination, leaning in to whisper against his ear; "It's all for you".

_50\. Happy Anniversary_

Mafuyu knocks on the door to Uenoyama's apartment.

The sun is shining low on the sky, and Mafuyu is feeling excited. It's their first anniversary today, and he has heard from Ueki and Itaya that his boyfriend has planned something for him.

(_ They weren't supposed to tell him - he could tell based on their regretful faces after they realized what they had done. He hadn't managed to get any details out of them though, so that's all he knows). _

He hears the steps on the other side of the door, and then it's thrown open. Uenoyama is standing on the other side, dressed in black jeans and a blue sweater, his cheeks pink. He looks absolutely _amazing_, even if his nervousness is visible on his face.

"Welcome, Mafuyu," he voices, moving forward to press his lips against Mafuyu's. Mafuyu hums contently as he presses back against his boyfriend's lips.

"Thank you, Ritsuka," Mafuyu says, and he watches as Uenoyama's cheeks get even redder. Uenoyama's hand moves to grab his, and they hold hands as they close the door, Mafuyu takes off his shoes and they walk into the kitchen. 

The kitchen is darkened, only light up by candles on the dining table. It seems that Uenoyama has cooked dinner and Mafuyu squeals in happiness at the scene.

A few moments later, the dinner has been eaten up. Their hands are still holding onto one another over the table, and Mafuyu can't look away from how beautiful his boyfriend is. 

He's so lucky. This past year has been amazing by his side, and he hopes for many more years to come.

"Mafuyu," Uenoyama says suddenly, moving to grab his free hand as well. He looks into Mafuyu's eyes, licks his lips and takes a deep breath.

"This past year has been incredible. Being with you is by far one of the best things that have happened to me," Uenoyama moves to press a kiss to Mafuyu's knuckles, and the latter feels his mouth fall open in adoration. "I hope we can get many more years together. Happy anniversary, Mafuyu."

Mafuyu stands up from his chair and moves around the table to get straddle his boyfriend's thighs, getting seated in Uenoyama's lap. His hands come to frame his boyfriend's face, and the black-haired man looks happier than Mafuyu has ever seen him.

"Happy anniversary, Ritsuka," he says and presses their lips together softly.


	6. fifty-one through sixty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! ~
> 
> long time no see! I'm really sorry for the late update! things have been quite busy these past few months. not only have I been incredibly busy with uni, but the world is also quite a different place than it was the last time I updated. my country has been pretty chill about it (for better or for worse) but my everyday life has been really affected by... everything. my mental health has been especially affected, but hopefully, I'm getting used to all that social distancing means now... anyway, I hope everyone is doing well, and if you're still reading this, thank you so much! ♥ I'm not really happy with how this chapter turned out, but I'm glad to finally update this fic again! As for the remaining chapters, I'm hoping to have them all out somewhat soon. there's only 4 chapters to go, unbelievable!
> 
> anyway, I hope you enjoy it and that you all stay safe!

_51\. Tell me more_

Despite being at Mafuyu’s place more times than he could count, Uenoyama found that there were things he had yet to notice.

One of those being the pictures on a shelf in Mafuyu’s room. They weren’t hidden, but also not that visible, standing next to books and other clutter. In one of the pictures, Mafuyu was much younger - he couldn’t have started school yet when it was taken - looking into the camera’s lens. His mother and another person who Uenoyama didn’t recognize where posing next to him, wide smiles on their faces. 

“What are you looking at?” 

Uenoyama jumps slightly in surprise and turns around to look at Mafuyu. He’s close, barely any space between them and he comes even closer to rest his chin on Uenoyama’s shoulder before he peers past him. “Oh, the photos?”

“Yeah,” Uenoyama admits, turning his gaze towards the picture again as Mafuyu moves to pick it down from the shelf. “I’ve never seen this before.”

“Oh, I remember this,” Mafuyu voices and he brings the picture closer to look at it properly. Uenoyama watches it with him, sees the details from Mafuyu’s early years. Uenoyama leans back against Mafuyu’s chest.

“Tell me more,” Uenoyama says into the space between them, and Mafuyu looks away from the picture in his hand. “Tell me more about you. I want to know everything.”

Mafuyu blinks. Then he grins, moving to rest his free arm around Uenoyama’s waist, hugging him close as he starts his tale. 

_52\. I bought tickets for the movie you wanted to watch_

"Alright kids, no practice tomorrow, remember," Haruki announces as they part ways outside the studio. Uenoyama and Mafuyu tell him that, yes, they _know_, _you've been reminding us more than once today_ and Haruki just laughs and walks off, Akihiko trailing along next to him.

"Mafuyu," Uenoyama voices a few minutes later as they walk towards the train station. It's dark out, and the streets are oddly quiet around them, so their fingers are intertwined. Uenoyama feels Mafuyu's gaze on him, warm in the cool air. "Do you have any plans tomorrow?"

"Hm…" Mafuyu murmurs, turning his gaze forwards as he thinks. "I need to study for the upcoming Japanese exam… I should also go buy groceries. Except for that, I'm not doing anything."

Despite all the dates they've gone on, Uenoyama still can't help but feel nervous about asking his boyfriend out on one. But the warm, and knowing, smile Mafuyu sends him makes the nerves fade away. "I bought tickets for the movie you wanted to watch. You know, the one in space?" He sees Mafuyu's face light up and he tries to keep the laughter in his throat. _ He's adorable_. "Want to go?"

Mafuyu grins. Then he pulls on their intertwined hands, sending Uenoyama into him. He presses a kiss to his lips before Uenoyama can get his footing back, and he feels the way his face catches on _fire. _

"I'd love to," Mafuyu agrees, and then proceeds to drag his tomato-faced boyfriend along.

_53\. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to_

The silence between them is deafening.

They don’t get into arguments a lot; most of the time it’s just Uenoyama getting exasperated over something Mafuyu did or said, but it always ends well. 

This time though, it had been different from the start. The atmosphere around them had gotten heavy the moment the first annoyed words left their lips and it only got worse and worse until it all exploded. 

Uenoyama thought of the look of pure _hurt _that had passed by Mafuyu’s face when the words had been spoken before he could stop them from tumbling out. He knows that his past is a very sensitive topic, he _knows _it, but his anger had stopped him from thinking clearly.

All of the anger had evaporated into regret as Mafuyu’s eyes filled with tears before he stormed out of his bedroom and into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Uenoyama had stood frozen in his bedroom, only feeling _guilt, guilt, guilt, _and regret.

It took Mafuyu two hours to leave the safety of the bathroom. The sound of the lock being turned made Uenoyama turn around to face him and their eyes meet. 

Before he could think it through, Uenoyama is upon his feet, running towards Mafuyu to gather him up in his arms. Mafuyu’s arms are tight around him and he sobs into Uenoyama’s neck. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Uenoyama mumbles, over and over, into his boyfriend’s ear, holding him as close as he can. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you, Ritsuka,” Mafuyu mumbles, so softly and his voice so hoarse from crying that Uenoyama sobs. “I’m sorry too. I’ll do better in the future too. I promise.”

Uenoyama doesn’t stop the tears from falling as he presses kiss over kiss against Mafuyu’s soft skin, relieved that they’re fine and promising to never let it get this far again.

_54\. It can wait until tomorrow_

A hand on his shoulder scares him out of his reverie.

Uenoyama turns around, his heart in his throat as he looks at his boyfriend with a question written on his face.

Mafuyu had fallen asleep a while ago, and the hints of sleep are clear on his face as he looks at Uenoyama through half-closed eyes. "Are you still studying?"

Papers are spread around on the floor, math equations taking up the white arcs. Uenoyama looks down on them, his lips pulling into a frown. The make-up exams are just around the corner and he had been too caught up in the band to study properly earlier. "Yeah."

A hum passes between them. Then Mafuyu's hand grips Uenoyama's and he pulls him into the bed next to him.

Uenoyama yelps as he falls onto the soft mattress. Mafuyu is quick at wrapping his limbs around him, pressing his lips against his boyfriend's before he can open his mouth to protest. "It can wait until tomorrow."

The warmth of Mafuyu around him makes him melt into the bed, and he holds him closer and figures that a few hours of sleep is just what he needs. 

_55\. Which do you prefer?_

Uenoyama insists on going into the store when they pass it by. He doesn't answer his confused boyfriend when he asked what had gained his attention, instead, opening the door and going inside.

He finds what he's looking for quite a way into the store and when he comes to a stop he feels Mafuyu walk into him, caught off guard by the sudden stop. Uenoyama turns to him, holding two different scarfs in his hands.

"Which do you prefer?"

Mafuyu looks up at him questioningly but doesn't say anything. Instead, he lifts his hand to point to the scarf in his left hand, a blue scarf with a minimalistic pattern. "This one."

Uenoyama hums as he hangs back the other scarf and then proceeds to the cashier. 

He meets Mafuyu outside just a few minutes later, his boyfriend having abandoned the store in favor of the cool afternoon air. He smiles when he notices Uenoyama's appearance, and the smile widens into a grin as Uenoyama wraps the blue scarf around his neck. 

"For you," Uenoyama says, making a point of not looking away from his boyfriend despite suddenly feeling very shy. Mafuyu's cheeks heat up.

Uenoyama watches as Mafuyu nuzzles slightly into the soft fabric and he can't help but feel pleased with himself. 

_56\. Take my seat_

The doors to the train open to let in more passengers. It’s past rush hour, but Tokyo could never really be seen as calm. They have been on the train for only a couple of stations when Mafuyu offers his seat to an old lady, who thanks him profusely at the kind gesture.

Uenoyama thinks about offering his seat to someone who was in the prioritized group as well, but the people around him had been quicker with offering their seats. But it's fine. There is still someone he can give it to. 

“Mafuyu.” 

His boyfriend turns around to look at him questioningly, his brows furrowed in confusion as he watches as Uenoyama stands up from his seat. He grabs Mafuyu by the waist and leads him to sit down on the seat that he was just sitting on, watching as warmth spreads over his boyfriend’s cheeks. 

Mafuyu smiles and Uenoyama smiles back. He’s standing in the spot in front of him, holding onto the rings hanging from the ceiling, and for once he doesn’t care if anyone sees them lean into each other's touch, their knees touching. He just watches Tokyo pass by. 

_57\. Don’t worry about me_

_Mafuyu’s voice is as angelic as always,_ Uenoyama can’t help but think as he plays the guitar to the song. It’s another new one, composed and written by them both together, and Uenoyama can’t help the smirk that makes it’s way onto his face as he remembers how impressed both Haruki and Akihiko had been when they heard it the first time. 

They make a great team. He lets himself peer over to his boyfriend once more, watching as he sings to the melody that they made. 

It’s while he’s looking at the beautiful boy he gets to call his own that he moves and stumbles on the chord leading to Mafuyu’s guitar. He hears himself let out a yell of surprise before he hits the ground and the noise around him suddenly stops. 

He hears the sound of the other members gather around him as well as his name being called multiple times, but Uenoyama stays still. _ I want to die. This is so embarrassing! _

“Ritsuka,” Mafuyu says as he moves to turn him onto his back. “Are you alright?”

Uenoyama is quiet for a while, just wanting to sink through the ground as he looks straight up at the ceiling, ignoring the three men who are peering into his face. “...Yeah.”

He hears Akihiko start to snicker and from the corner of his eye, he can see Mafuyu’s lips pull upwards as well. Uenoyama feels his cheeks burn as he moves to sit up. He decides to look at his guitar, making sure that it's still fine despite the fall until Akihiko and Haruki announce it’s time for a break and disappears out the door. 

Mafuyu is still squatting next to him, and Uenoyama looks at his boyfriend for a moment before turning his gaze away again. His cheeks are not the same vibrant red as before, but he can still feel some heat on them. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.”

To his surprise, Mafuyu chuckles, leaning over to grab his hand. “I’m your boyfriend, it’s my job to worry.”

Uenoyama smiles at that, looking down at their intertwined hands. 

“Why were you distracted anyway?”

He splutters, looking away from his boyfriend as his cheeks catch on fire again. Mafuyu leans closer, peering into his face and Uenoyama relents. “You were… really good. At singing.”

It’s Mafuyu’s turn to turn red, but he seems to be handling it better, as he leans forwards to press a soft kiss to Uenoyama’s cheek. Uenoyama follows as Mafuyu pulls away, pressing their lips together, leaving the embarrassment behind, opting to show Mafuyu just _how _amazing he found the performance. 

_58\. One more chapter_

It started as a joke. 

“I’d think I could listen to your voice all the time,” Uenoyama had said to his boyfriend a few days ago, as they were cuddling up in his bed. He felt it when Mafuyu laughed, the redhead’s back against his chest. “I bet you’d even make our history books interesting.”

Mafuyu had snorted, a beautiful sound that made Uenoyama turn him around and kiss him senseless. He had left the subject at that, not expecting it to leads into something more. 

He’s very wrong though, as Mafuyu comes over after practice one night with their history book pressed to his chest. Uenoyama splutters and tries to protest, but before he can find any words to object Mafuyu made himself comfortable on the floor of his bedroom. Uenoyama sighs before sitting down next to him, leaning his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder as he starts to read out loud. 

And believe it or not, but it _was _easier to concentrate when it was Mafuyu’s voice that said the words. It also went by quicker than it would’ve if Uenoyama had read it by himself, at least that’s what it feels like. Mafuyu is about to close the book when Uenoyama puts his hand in between the pages.

“One more chapter.” 

He feels Mafuyu’s gaze on him before he feels him laugh softly. Then his voice is resonating through the room again, and Uenoyama couldn’t be more content. 

_59\. I did the dishes_

Mafuyu looked dead tired when they stepped into his home. Uenoyama closes the door behind them as softly as he can. Kedama is there to meet them in the genkan, and both of them kneel down to pet him.

The apartment is quiet, a sign that Mafuyu's mom isn't home. And although all Uenoyama _(and probably Mafuyu too, considering his eyes are dropping where he's kneeling next to him)_ wants is to go to sleep immediately, he knows Mafuyu takes care of the chores before he even thinks about resting for the evening. The pile of dishes looks even _less _inviting than usual.

"Mafuyu," Uenoyama mumbles, watching as his boyfriend opens his eyes lazily. "You can go take a shower."

Mafuyu blinks. "You won't be coming with me?"

Uenoyama shakes his head and moves in to press a quick kiss to his lips. "I had a shower before practice."

Seemingly too sleepy to argue, Mafuyu just leans forward to let their lips touch once more before he moves to stand up and make his way over to the bathroom. Uenoyama stays in place, petting Kedama until he hears the shower running.

A few minutes later, Mafuyu comes out of the bathroom. He smells amazing from the shower, but the warm water seems to have made him even more sleepy. He can barely keep his eyes open as he walks into Uenoyama's open arms. 

"Let's go to sleep," Uenoyama whispers into Mafuyu's hair. The ginger looks up at him.

"Soon. I need to-"

"I did the dishes," Uenoyama interrupts. "So let's go to sleep."

Mafuyu's eyes widen, before he nods, happily. They both fall asleep the moment their bodies hit the bed, cuddling close to one another.

_60\. I’ll be gentle_

The sound of soft gasps and moans are loud in the room. Uenoyama groans as Mafuyu presses his lips over and over on his neck, sucking and licking until it becomes a bruise.

His stomach is broiling and before he can think about what the thought that passes through his head actually _means_, he hears his own, breathy voice. "Can I do it this time?"

He hears the ginger's breath catch and he pulls away slightly to look him in the eyes. At the sight of the surprise, but also the _want, _ in Mafuyu's eyes, Uenoyama is sure. He wants to do this.

He intertwines their fingers. "I'll be gentle."

Mafuyu smiles softly, nodding in approval. His hazel eyes are warm and filled with something fond as he throws his arms around Uenoyama, letting the black-haired man turn them around, Mafuyu's back hitting the mattress. "I know."

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on twitter @ jeonghooons


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